Today I tried.

There’s that part of you that will keep certain memories locked away. But, life is meant to be shared…

I didn’t immediately go home today. I went to the park across from my aunt’s house and swung on the swings. The whole park was empty except for a few people and their dogs. A woman with a cute canine walked by and said hello. It was a grey day, and the sand was warm. My toes felt good digging into the grains.

And I just swung on the swing for five minutes. I know I was too big for that little rubber seat, but there is still such delight to fly through the air, to feel gravity pulling you down, to meet the sky.

Just me, under that patch of sky, swinging by myself. To face loneliness, solitude, alone time with God. To embrace that essential fact of being in this world, here is not home. It is all right. And to know fully that you are entered into a formal agreement to marry Jesus that cares so deeply and truly for you.

I also tried and pushed to drive to the Social Security Office, to sit in the metal chair and wait for my number to be called. The annoying non-definite music blending in with the voices of policy explanations. It is a clean place, decorated well and in a friendly beige manner. The security guard there likes his hand sanitizer.

Write sincere letters full of real thoughts please. And at the same time, build it where it’s most healthy, not where you most desire. May your desire be big, holy, beautiful, and eternal.